Monday, 30 June 2003 :)
Today was a very liberating one. I found myself in the middle of some negative energy and made a new decision... and walked away from it completely.... very empowering stuff really.... then I went and had some coffee with Aunt Toni-Ann and Kissy... saw little Nuah too. After a short, but enjoyable visit I went to see Mom at the hospital, It was a nice visit... at some point she removed the nicotine patch they had given her... maybe ‘cause it was leaching nicotine out. Aunt Pam was there and so was Aunt Toni-Ann... hmmmm... I have yet to figure out how the heck she did that.
Ian and I went to see Char lie’s Angels after dinner... it was okay, not my fave, but fun to go with Ian anyway.
I spoke with an organization that specializes on connecting not for profit organizations with Attorneys who can help them. I’m focusing my energy on getting the Foundation finished.... Yay.
Please hold Joyce G. in your prayers... she’s Robin’s Mom and has been through the whole cancer thing once... now it looks like she may be going through it again... what fun huh?.... I know she can beat it this time ‘cause she did it last time, but strength is always needed and prayers really help. While you’re at it please say some for William D., he’s been fighting for over three years and refuses to give in... That’s the spirit!
Sunday, 29 June 2003 :/
Mom had some chest pain so she called her doctor and then drove herself to the hospital. The hurried her into the E.R. and settled her in. By the time I got there Aunt Pam and Aunt Toni-Ann were both by her side.... the three sisters. The cardiologist wanted to admit her for a couple of days since she’s at high risk due to the fact she’s diabetic, smokes, gets too little exercise. The wanted her to meet with specialists and run some tests, etc... Mom just kept saying she wanted to go home. Personally, I had enough of this folderol. I found myself agreeing with Mom, “You should go home, after all, what are these medical men gonna tell you? To eat right, stop smoking and get exercise? You have to forgive them, they’re under the impression you care enough about your health to really make some changes, I can understand it though, I thought the same thing for years. C’mon, I’ll get the car.” ..... She gave me ‘the eye’ and thanked me for coming to cheer her up.... heh... I know it sounds cold , and maybe it is, but I don’t know any other way to get her to consider the possibility of a reality other than the one in her head. I just figured she’d ‘hit bottom’ and them shoot up to the top.... problem is we were raised to be cushions for each other... Welcome to the House of Co-Dependency.... hrmn.
Please say prayers for my Mom... she could use them right now.
Saturday, 28 June 2003 :)
I set the clock with enough time to leisurely wake up, have some coffee and then get ready to go to the gym.... that was the plan. What happened was when the alarm sounded Ian turned it off instead of hitting the snooze button. I suddenly sat up and noticed I overslept by an hour. I had enough time to brush my teeth, get dressed and run... thirteen minutes later I was starting my workout. Oh well, at least my heart rate was right up there.
Later on I went to Aunt Toni-Ann’s and got to see everybody... it was great. Linda and Gary were there and so was Aunt Rusty and Stephanie, and a whole bunch of family I don’t usually get to see.... very nice.
Calling All Angels... Please send a lot of prayer for Bob M.... He’s a new soldier in the war on cancer. He has two brain tumors and the medical men are selling him the, “terminal” crap.... He’s only 48 and there’s no reason he should buy it!
Friday, 27 June 2003 :)
Whadda fun day... First thing I did was go to All Sport and join up... They offer their services at no charge for three months to cancer patients - is that nice of them or what! I start in the morning.
I went to Newburgh and saw met Michele at the library... then I went to visit Nuah and Kissy and Aunt Toni-Ann. Afterward I washed the car and went to the hotel and saw Linda and Gary... Yay..... They came up from Key West, Stephanie and Aunt Rusty, Aunt Pam and Mom.... hmmm... I forgot to find out what the occasion was, but it sure was fun.
Yup, today was a good day
Thursday, 26 June 2003 :)
I went to All-Sport a local gym... I may sign up. They are offering folks who are trying to recover from cancer three months free... I think that’s super... just have to check with Dr. Ruckdeschel to make sure it’s okay to do all that stuff.
Please say a prayer for ‘Stony’... he’s in a really bad way and needs every prayer you can send his way. He’s waiting on a miracle and I know it can happen.
The world is nuts... I had to laugh when I got the email to boycott buying a Muslim Stamp.... I really though it was a joke but it’s true... Hey, Mr. Postman... real sensitive... how about a Suicide-Bomber stamp... yeah... part of the proceeds could go to help their families pick up the pieces... literally.
Wednesday, 25 June 2003 :)
Today was a hot one... and humid too... evenmy wordsare sticking together.
Doug Gilhooly, Kris’s friend who became a US Marine and went to Afghanistan... is back home... Yay! He called today... sounded great.
Tuesday, 24 June 2003 :)
I stayed home and took care of a lot of some things that needed my attention. Also got to see Eyoko which was fantastic... Here’s one of the body-art from her new collection of kšiš. I just love spending time with her... She’s like a firefly.... just wish I could put her in a bottle and take her with me where ever I go.
Ian got a scary movie and we watched it and drank Mud-Slides all night... funny thing is the sugar goes right into my system, since I have no stomach to inject it, and my pancreas gets some kinda panic message to get more insulin in the bloodstream, which arrives after the sugar’s gone and just like the little guy who rode the bicycle on ‘Laugh-In’.... I fall over to one side and conk out.... *klink*.... heh... the evening consisted of drinking a Mud-Slide, laugh, joke, laugh, laugh, conk out, sleep, wake up thirty minutes later, drink a Mud-Slide, laugh, joke, laugh, laugh, conk out, sleep.... *phew*.... the evening went by real fast.
Monday, 23 June 2003 :)
Today was a beautiful one... sunny and warm.... maybe a bit too warm, but more welcome to see than the endless rainy days we’ve been having. I got to see Aunt Toni-Ann and Kissy today... Little Nuah too. He’s just a delightful little guy.
I got some wonderful news... Eyoko came up from New York to stay with us for a couple of days... she’s such a fantastic spirit to be around and we’ll have her company until Wednesday... Yay... We shared a sushi dinner and talked for hours, laughing and catching up on our adventures.
Sunday, 22 June 2003 :)
I had gone food shopping with Trever... it was fun to spend the time with him selecting what we wanted. He felt like some Alaskan Salmon steaks so he picked up a couple pounds... when we got home Mom was there to greet us and together she and Trever prepared the filets. They were delicious and for desert we had fresh pineapple.
Ian and I watched Queer As Folk later on and it was nice to just be together.
Saturday, 21 June 2003 :)
There’s a new gay club in New Paltz called, Waves. Ian and I were planning on going out to see it, but with all the rain we made a new decision to stay an and snuggle-up... uh.... considering the fact it’s a Saturday night for the twins and the house was teaming with their friends, perhaps instead of saying ‘staying in and looking for a place to take refuge’ would be a more apt description... heh.
Friday, 20 June 2003 :)
I spent a lot of the day in Cornwall. I got to see Aunt Toni-Ann and spend some time with her... that was fun.
My insurance company sent me a letter initially denied paying for me to see the voice specialist in New York. They would rather I “see someone in plan”. Funny thing was I was holding an earlier letter they had sent me that okayed me to see another voice specialist in Detroit (who also was not in plan) because, according to them, “don’t have anyone with that expertise in plan.”.... C’mon MVP ya gotta read your own stuff already.
When I got back to the house the boys were there as well as a whole group of their friends. I wasn’t home ten minutes when I noticed there were flashing lights in the driveway. Sure enough, a policeman was there talking with one of their friends. Turned out there wasn’t a problem, but it sure brought back memories... *sheese*.
I resigned from Cadaret Grant today. I’m determined to re-evaluate what I want and work with a company which is international. I want to have the option open.... I still have dreams of Montrťal.
Thursday, 19 June 2003 :)
Mom called and asked me to pop over... so I did. She was very pleased with herself ‘cause she had a surprise waiting for me. Knowing how I love shrimp, she had a bag of shrimp which could just as well have been lobster tails... I mean huge. It was so sweet of her, I left quickly before she could change her mind... hehe. I also got to see Aunt Pam, which was cool.
Wednesday, 18 June 2003 :)
Nine years and two months ago my life changed...... I met Ian MacKintosh and the world was reinvented.
Tuesday, 17 June 2003 :)
Please say a special prayer for Tegan... she’s a young woman who needs the magic they give. Thank you for including her in yours. And please add Julia R. to the list, she’s a dear friend who could use some prayers too.
There’s a wonderful organization designed to help kids who have cancer... it’s called: HelpKidsWhoHaveCanc er.org ..... duh... and it could be a great help to children, their friends, and their families who are fighting this war. I’ll add it to the Links section.
Monday, 16 June 2003 :)
There was a possibility of going into New York, but it didn’t happen. I have to be there July 3rd so I scheduled some appointments the same day. Meanwhile it was the last full day of classes for the boys and the sleep overs have already begun.
Kristopher stopped by today and it was wild to see him standing at the end of the driveway while a whole new gaggle of teenagers flocked to the spot. Trever and Shawn’s friends were all excited and planning what to do with their vacation time... very exciting.
Sunday, 15 June 2003 :)
Today was Father’s Day and Ian and I spent it quietly. I went to the mall and got some stuff we had wanted... and washed the car... I was set.
Please say prayers for Mr. H.... he’s a bit shy about his identity right now... he’s a new soldier in the war on cancer. He needs some healing and your prayers would be great!
As for the rest of the day we spent it hanging out just enjoying being together. When we went to get some General Tsao’s chicken and pork fried rice. The restaurant owner’s six year old son, Kenny, started buzzing around us insisting we join in a game of ‘Asteroid Protector’. The game was one which he had created and was still in the process of developing rules for as the game progressed. Basically it required someone to run around people while talking non-stop. He was desperate to have someone to play with and we were not about to hurt his feelings... It was a privileged moment, but the longest ‘Ten minute’ we ever spent waiting for Chinese.
Saturday, 14 June 2003 :)
Ian and I went to Pat’s house to celebrate Uncle Paddy being eighty years old today. It was so much fun to be at Pat’s... the people, the food, the casual elegance. Ross and Peter are getting ready to take off for a fabulous gay cruise, Jim and Cathy were there from Albany, Teeny and the girls, who get more beautiful every time I see them, Mike and Kristen who took us on a tour of their new home, which is wonderful. And of course there’s Aunt Alice, a special woman who has a heart of solid gold.
WE GOT PATHFINDER BACK TODAY... YAY! Frankie had done an amazing job of repairing the damage... it looked as good as the first day we got it. Ian and I had a blast driving it home. We actually had to reacquaint ourselves with the knobs and dials... To this day I never saw it crunched up... so for me it was as if the accident had never happened.
The boys were excited... This is a special weekend in our little town. New Paltz is just one gigantic club this weekend... they might as well just card you when you cross the village line. So for the boys and their friends it’s just a long line of parties connected by hangovers. Their friend Mike came to pick them up in his Grandfather’s candy yellow Humvee. Whatta a great vehicle... I had never seen one up close. Mike asked me if I’d like to drive it so I did. It was really fun... sits four and is amazing cavernous inside. They won’t be driving all night. They’ll be walking later.
Friday, 13 June 2003 :)
I met a pretty woman today who touched me... she had lost her daughter in a car accident last October... and while she spoke to me I could feel the confusion and pain so strongly I had to focus on being composed. There’s something special about her... something familiar... very cool.
I had a chance to see Aunt Toni-Ann, and Kissy and little Nuah... He’s just adorable... and he’s growing fast. Afterward I went and had supper with Mom. It was great to eat together... such a social thing, I forget since I don’t eat away from home so much. Started to choke a bit and had to step into the next room and fix things. Funny, at home I’m usually alone so I don’t have to be concerned with table etiquette. I’m going to have to learn to adjust.
Thursday, 12 June 2003 :)
Trever hurt his right hand today while he was at work... poor kid... Mariann took him to the Emergency Room and they x-rayed it. Thankfully nothing was broken. Good news when you’re right handed.
I decided to try and eat away from home... I did fairly good too... just a slight problem, but I did it anyway... gonna do it again tomorrow to!
Wednesday, 11 June 2003 :)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you... HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you... HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Kristopherrrrr...HAPPY BIRTHDAY tooooo you! (that’s as close to singing as I can muster these days.)
Trever’s upset with me... he swears I forget stuff I say to him... a possibility.... but not the stuff I say to Shawn. *sigh* I made the suggestion to write down all the important stuff - just so we could avoid repeating the problem. I hope one day he realizes he was mistaken... ‘cause his perspective must hurt his feelings and I hate to think of him saddened.... especially since it’s really not true.
There’s a song sung by Christina Aguilera called, ‘Beautiful’ which is like a melodic lesson for your soul.... It’s on her ‘Stripped’ album. The longer I live the more I understand how we really are one; how everyone is me and I am everyone.... I’m the guy scraping the paint off old windows in the heat... the doctor who’s helping someone get better.... the thief, the lawyer, the waiter, the singer on stage.... we really are all one... which explains the lethargy.
Tuesday, 10 June 2003 :/
Whadda sore throat I had today... with the sneezing and all of that. I didn’t let it stop me from being productive. Although I didn’t fly as high at least I got off the ground.
There was a little concert held at the town’s gazebo in Cornwall. Performers played different instruments some sang... folks were strewn all over the lawn encircling it oblivious to the deer tick infestation. Be sorta funny if it was all to raise money to fight Lymes disease.
Shawn took the new cell phone out as soon as I stepped in the door... After a couple of hours I phoned, “I love you, I miss you and I really wish you were home.”..... “Dad, I’m eighteen. I’m having fun with my friends.. I’m fine.” came the bewildered reply. So, who’s talking to him? I was talking to the phone... heh.
Monday, 9 June 2003 :\
A day of ups and downs... I didn’t end up going to New York... my throat was very sore and red.... and my ‘stomach’ was very off too... so I thought the better of venturing so far from home.... I passed up some appointments and a fun party with great friends, but I just couldn’t do it. Ian had made himself available to go with me as a safety net, God bless him... so we ended up spending the day together.... always a super way to spend a day.
The Motorola Star-TAC finally gave up the ghost, refused to take a charge and started to spontaneously shut itself off .... I brought it into Radio Shack to see about repairing it... “It’s only three years old” I told them... “ONLY, he says” came the response from the manager... he went on, “I don’t think Sprint even carries the Star-TAC anymore”. Now the rest of his staff began gathering around to view the technological relic. It was like I was holding a cell phone from the time of Christ... hrmn... in no time I was bombarded with numbers, numbers, numbers..... the charge for repair was enormous verses the cost of new service, plan upgrade fees, two year plans, three year plans, being assigned a new number and all that goes with it, activation costs... I began to imagine the tall kid reaching for paddles off a crash cart with the ‘SHARP’ logo emblazoned across the front while the manager yells “CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? CLEAR”.... Tha-THUMP... Enough already! I decided to end the madness - kept everything the same and just replaced the phone... probably what they had in mind all along.... *phew*.... that was hours ago and I’m still shaky... (better not drop the goddamn thing).
Sunday, 8 June 2003 :)
Ian and I went out for breakfast... there could be a trend starting here. Out the window we could see a fair was set up with all the rides and games... so after we ate we went to explore. It was fun to spend the morning together doing silly things.
Later Trever went off to Six Flags with a group of friends and Shawn went off to do some yard work for a woman around the corner. It was a quite day, just a peaceful and relaxing way to spend a Sunday.
Tomorrow I have to go into New York on some business and a party later in the evening. It’ll be the first time I’ve been in the city in so long I don’t remember... If it goes well it’ll be significant... maybe I can go back to working in Manhattan... I sure miss it.
Saturday, 7 June 2003 :)
Ian and I went out for breakfast... it was great. When we lived in New York we would go out every morning to have breakfast together. Tomorrow we’re going to do it again. It’s important to do the little things... they add up to big things.
Please say a prayer for Elijah... he’s eleven, and a friend of my niece, Mary Grace. He went to get his Dad a glass of water this morning and came back to find his Father had died. It’s a very traumatic time for him, his brother Josh and his Mom.
Friday, 6 June 2003 :)
Today was a busy one. I tried eating half a ham sandwich while I was out... turned out to be a mistake. I got all kids of cramps.... it really is better if I just wait until I get home.
Ian had wanted me to meet him in Kingston but I was too wiped to go. I went home and began the task of eating, and all that goes with it.
Thursday, 5 June 2003 :)
I spent the day with my Ian... it was great. We just snuggled and had a very lazy day spent appreciating each others company... it was wonderful. We walked around the village together and soaked in all the things there were to see. I opened a bank account in a local bank... it’ll be much easier than the trying to work with the one in the city. I used to love dealing with that bank... it was a small, well run, with a stunning interior on the corner of 60th and Fifth and the people are so nice. Then Citibank took it over and well, I’m switching.
Later Ian and I went to see Bruce Almighty... it was funny and we stayed for the out takes just like Jilly had suggested.
Thank you for keeping Richard S. in your prayers... and if there are names you would like added to the prayer list feel free to e-Mail me with their first name and last initial.
Wednesday, 4 June 2003 :(
I had the toughest time falling asleep last night... funny part was I couldn’t understand why until about one o’clock... I remembered I had a cup of coffee at five... great... Although it felt good to finally solve the mystery, I couldn’t help but wonder why it’s so hard to just remember not to drink the stuff after two?.... ugh
I spent the day with Aunt Toni-Ann and got a ton of stuff done.... I feel so gratified when I can accomplish stuff... I hate doing nothing, wasting time... time is far too precious a commodity to squander, at least it is to me.
De Leopold stopped over today... we had some tea, told stories, laughed, she even sang.... what a voice she has. I’ve know her for over twenty years, (that hurts) and she still has a most amazing voice... I want one.
Calling all angels... this is really important... Shawn’s girl friend, Keriann learned today her Dad was given three months to live. It amazes me, just ‘cause some folks treat doctors as if they were God... some doctors think they can really play the part!... sheese.... He’s fighting cancer and right now it’s trying to kick his ass. His name is Richard S. and he needs your prayers now more than ever. I have to meet this man and talk with him... I wanna help him show cancer what an ass kickin’s all about!
***I just learned Marv Hecker died on Monday... I read the email and just started crying.... I can’t get my mind around it.... if you knew him then you understand why. Marv was a rarity... up-front, in-touch, outspoken and never and I mean NEVER down. Positive, kind and caring, genuine and real, slow to upset and so quick to laugh... that’s the Marv I knew and loved. Please say a prayer for his wife Carol and their children, Mitch and Stacey.
Tuesday, 3 June 2003 :)
Today was a busy one... felt good for most of it... punky at different times, but I wouldn’t let it interfere with what I wanted to do.... Yay!
I think I may be losing too much weight so tomorrow I plan to make a more intense effort to do the Ensure thing.
Monday, 2 June 2003 :/
Aunt Ann came up to spend some time with Mom. So together with Aunt Toni-Ann and Aunt Pam they went off to Foxwoods to have some serious fun.... wayda go!
I spent the day in Cornwall... I didn’t have a problem so I really think it was just the rare hamburger... oh well.
No word on the Pathfinder yet.... *snif*.... I miss it.
There’s some excitement in the air... I just have a really good feeling about what’s ahead. I’m determined to get the Foundation up and going.... very determined.
Sunday, 1 June 2003 :/
Well, Ian and I didn’t end up going out ‘cause there was a change in the plans of our friends.... so we decided to just stick around. Doesn’t matter to me... just being with him is my idea of a great time.
Strange thing happened to me later in the day. Ian and I went to go food shopping and as I was just getting started I suddenly felt light headed and wOoZy... I really thought I was going to pass out in produce... I called for Ian and he walked me out to the car where I felt like I had just stepped off an amusement park ride, very dizzy and very nauseous. He got me home just in time.... Mariann said it was probably a reaction to having eaten a hamburger ultra-rare.... the only way I really like them. Just a silly case of Bad Cow.... hrmn.