Tuesday, 31 December 2002 :)
NEW YEARS EVE.... phew.... can’t believe it!
Ricky and the girls came to visit... Jilly came by later.... that was cool. Eyoko came up from New York, Damon, the Tech who took care of me at the hospital came down from Albany, and Sonya popped over too and we all saw 2002 out... (good riddance)... and 2003 in..... Kris and Melanie came over and took their brothers out to a party in town so our New Year started off peacefully... a good sign.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
Monday, 30 December 2002 :)
Ahhhh... Ricky’s Birthday!
We went over to Mom’s to celebrate with Ricky.... whatta fun time... Phil and Jean, Aunt Toni-Ann and Tony, Kissy, Nuah, Aunt Pam, Jilly, the girls and Mom where there.... Shawn popped over later with his pal Mike and we had dinner and cake.... I didn’t eat ‘cause that’s still a procedure full of surprises where I’m concerned... I need to master the art first.
Must get Jilly to make the pork stew she invented.... gotta get a patent on it too... amazing stuff!
Sunday, 29 December 2002 :\
Today was a smudge on my calendar.... I got outta bed only to turn around and get right back into it.
Saturday, 28 December 2002 :)
My brother Ricky seems to be coming down with a cold... damnit.... With my immune system being compromised I have to stay away from him and the girls until I’m sure they are okay to be around.... grrrr.
Our friend Sonya came by... it was great to see her. Stephanie and Aunt Rusty came up too.... it was wonderful to see the two if them.
PS: I’m walking more and more upright and every day I seem to be seeing more progress.... yes... I’m really waiting on my voice at this point... and I gotta gain back some weight... (now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear.)
Friday, 27 December 2002 :)
Mom came over to see me and we spent a few hours together.... I had a rough night and was not up to snuff really. Aunt Pam and Aunt Toni-Ann came by to pick her up and we had a short, but nice visit. Later on, after a nap Ian and I went to the mall just so I could really walk a lot for exercise.... we got a wheel chair and I exercised my arms too! Very cool.
Thursday, 26 December 2002 :)
The boys got up at six to go out shoveling driveways... not MY driveway.... other people who were paying driveways.... heh... ours they did last.
After a hard day of snow moving there’s nothing like a good fight over something stupid... ahhhh yes.... and fight they did - and over a five year old shirt. (Christmas was yesterday.... there was an avalanche of clothes, but this five year old shirt now had center stage). It had been Shawn’s, he gave it to Trever two days ago, today he ripped it... Trever was furious and the next thing ya know he’s in the laundry room shredding Shawn’s stuff. It was a zoo for a while.... I got swept up in the frenetic energy and started to morph into a raspy voiced monster too.... just pure insanity. The boys left and I was left with peace and quite... and me in ‘Monster Mode’.... Ugh.
Much later Ricky and Jill, the girls and Aunt Pam and CJ all came up. It was cool by then and we all had a swell visit
Wednesday - Christmas 2002 :)
A beautiful day spent in the company of my children and Ian.... surrounded by snow, candle glow and music... very cool.
Personally - I was wiped out from the day before. We were supposed to go to Pat’s house, but there was no way I could.... Ian went by himself. It was snowing when he left and never stopped. I told him to stay over instead of trying to drive home... but he insisted the Pathfinder could do it.... and it did... Ian came home safe and sound.... whatta guy!
Tuesday - Christmas Eve 2002 :)
What a busy Day... My friend Lucy Ransom stopped over and visited for while... then at Noon Our dear friend Edith and her beau Adam came by to catch up... it was great to see them... at one Ian’s Mom was here as planned for our Christmas eve dinner... and at two Mari and Robbie came bearing all the stuff that made the dinner... Mari did all the cooking, (that was super sweet of her).
The dinner was delicious. As we were eating the doorbell rang... It was Joan... a neighbor.... she wanted to know if we would like to sign a political petition.... I explained to her that this was Christmas Eve and that we were having a family dinner... but it meant nothing to her so I showed her the door... Ho, Ho, Home.
Later we all headed to Aunt Toni-Ann’s Christmas Eve party.... what amazing fun. Most everyone was there, Aunt Toni-Ann, Tony, Kissy, Nuah, Uncle Nemo, Mom, Aunt Anne, Aunt Pam, Cousin Eddie, VJ, Tiffany, Jenna, CJ, Kris, Melanie, Ricky, Jill, Frankie, Mary Grace, Livvy.... It was a fine old fashioned Christmas.... I stayed for as long as I could and then I had to leave... too much pain. When I got home I wrote my letter to Santa Clause, as I have since I could write. When the boys came home from the party they wrote theirs too... and we all went off to mail them.
Snow on the ground, my three sons under on roof , without fighting, and Ian..... what a great Christmas Eve.
Monday, 23 December 2002 :)
I went Christmas shopping with Ian and his Mom. Yup... I wore a face mask and used a wheelchair, but I went to the Mall... Kids stared at me like I had horns... oh well, there were some benefits - most people didn’t know the reason for the mask and decided not to crowd... hehe.... All in all I had a very busy and productive day! I just hope this is the start of a trend!
Please keep Carol and Wes close in prayer.... today would have been their son Chad’s 24th birthday.
Sunday, 22 December 2002 :)
I got to see Jill and Ricky today... they came over with the girls.... it was a lot of fun... they helped Shawn make fudge and we all had a super visit. Ricky went on a walk with Ian and me which was very cool.
Later I took a real bath.... might not sound like much to you but it was a real milestone for me!
Saturday, 21 December 2002 :)
A bit of a rough night last night... woke up choking.... but got through it.
Jill and Ricky arrived home.... Ian and I drove over to see them and it was great! Jill looks wonderful, the girls are adorable, Aunt Pam, Aunt Toni-Ann, Kissy and Nauh... Jilly’s sister Linda was there too and of course... Mom. We had a very good time.
Friday, 20 December 2002 :)
Ian and I headed to Mom’s to review some of the television shows she was a guest on... Maury, Oprah, People Are Talking, just to name a few...... it was so neat to see her... she really is a natural in front of the camera.
Mom and Aunt Pam, C.J., Aunt Toni-Ann, Kissy and Nauh were there too.... so cool to be surrounded by family.... Ricky and Jill are on their way home too.... wow!
Thursday, 19 December 2002 :)
My voice is missing in action again... back to whispering.... oh well.
Please say a prayer for luck for my Mom.... she got a call from California from a producer at the Sci-Fi channel who wants to discuss her doing a show for them.... very cool indeed. For those who may not know her Nancy Pisano is a very respected psychic with an international following... I’m really very proud of her and her work..
Wednesday, 18 December 2002 :)
Today Ian and I celebrate eight years and eight months together.... pretty cool.
We went to Albany to see the doctor. He removed the feeding tube,... YEA... and took off the steri-strips too. After listening to me he’s convinced the vocal cord will heal itself in about six weeks.... he said the cancer was, “Microscopic and totally gone”.... YES!..... Then he sent me for a chest x-ray... the slip was marked ‘abnormal’... hmmm.... was someone missing a watch?
Tuesday, 17 December 2002 :)
Today is Aunt Rusty’s Birthday.... I never got through to wish her a happy.... I’m in the dog house.
Strange thing happened this morning...... I woke up.... used the bathroom and when I stood up to go wash my hands, from nowhere some stuff came up from my stomach and went into my lungs...... I couldn’t breath. I started to cough so hard Ian woke up and came rushing in... I could only cough and try to inhale.... this went on for almost twenty minutes... I was a mess.... when I was finally able to breath normally I crawled back to bed..... that’s when the strangest thing happened - I went to thank Ian and instead of the low raspy whisper I had some of my real voice back...... wow..... I was so happy... It took Ian a moment to realize and when he did he was thrilled too. Very cool.
My Mom came to be with me and stayed a long time... she’s working really hard to quit smoking and so far she’s making some serious headway... keep her in your prayers. Mari and Robbie stopped by later on too... Tomorrow we go see Darroch in Albany for a follow-up..
Monday, 16 December 2002 :)
Today was a slow going one.... realised that the operation was only five weeks after the last dose of chemo, (‘cause we had to) which helps to explain why it’s all healing so damn slow... seems like forever.
Sunday, 15 December 2002 :)
Had a little birthday party for the boys.... last minute... Aunt Pam, Mom, Aunt Toni-Ann and Kissy came and that was fun.... eighteen... wow.... it was so nice to see everyone..... we are so blessed to have family.
Saturday, 14 December 2002 :/
Had a long talk with Ian... he’s been doing so much I was afraid that I would drive him crazy..... there are so many struggles to deal with.... on so many levels..... income, relationships, independence, cabin fever, fear .... and oh ya - pain... heh... can’t forget that one. These situations tend to make or break the things they touch.
Friday, 13 December 2002 :/
Ian and I went for a drive around the town today... so quaint.
The stomach tube that they left, (in case I couldn’t eat) is starting to smart... I hate it.... and it wigs me out every time I have to deal with it.... To see a long tube coming from my tummy makes me look like a blow-up doll.... blech.... oh well... I’ll have them remove it when I see Darroch next week.
Ian rented, ‘Buy The Cow’.... I laughed my butt off!!
Thursday, 12 December 2002 :/
Today Little Mary came to visit.... so did Mariann and Robbie. Shawn played cards with me and there was no school ‘cause of another storm... very cool.... these boys have been life savers to me..... quite the turn around from the last time....heh.
Wednesday, 11 December 2002 :)
Mom and Aunt Pam came by to see me... that was so nice to see them... I can’t wait to feel normal... voice is still ‘wisperly’
Tuesday, 10 December 2002 :)
HELLO PAIN MED..... For some damn reason there are three spots on my body that burn like fire when I move in certain ways.... when I stand my right leg has a spot that feels like it’s burning, (the rest of my thigh is numb)... must be some sorta nerve damage from the operation..... Then if I reach too far with my right hand there’s a spot in my arm that stings like crazy.... and finally my right side of my chest has a spot that stops me in my tracks if I move the wrong way...YEEEEEOUCH!
Ian went to Pat’s house to celebrate Aunt Alice’s birthday... I couldn’t go.... the guys took care of me in Ian’s absence.
Monday, 9 December 2002 :)
The boys are being great again.... thank God. Ian was able to get another globe to replace the broken one and the lamp looks like a million again... God bless Ian... He’s been taking such amazing care with me.... I walked around the block today... the snow looked great!
PLEASE say a prayer for Carol and Wes... they lost their eldest son, (Chris) before Christmas seven years ago in a shooting (he was 22 yrs.) and believe it or not they lost they’re only other son, (Chad) in a car accident yesterday... he was also 22 yrs..... not fair.
Sunday, 8 December 2002 :/
I’m not using any pain meds yet..... but I may start soon. The boys have been great , except for a disagreement that ended up in a fist fight that broke a globe on my desk lamp... ugh.... I made it crystal clear to them that another prank like that one and out they go.... Aunt Toni-Ann called them and promised to rip them a new asshole if they did.... Go Aunt Toni-Ann!
Saturday, 7 December 2002 :/
I Got home from the hospital on Thursday, (I’ll go back and fill in as I can). The operation was a biggie. Everything went swell, with the possible exception of a bruised, or severed, vocal cord.... I sound horrible.... whispering and raspy.... sorta like Anne Frank.....
Aunt Toni Ann, Kissy and Nuah came by for a great visit... I confided to Aunt Toni that I hope this is the end of the cancer...... really...... ‘Cause I don’t really know if I could do this a third time. The first time I was a bit stronger I think, or at least I didn’t know what to expect.... This time I know what rides on the railroad track I’m standing in the middle of.... and I’m not as curious this time about the whistle.... (IfYaKnowWhatIMean).
A nurse comes to see me in the morning.
Friday, 6 December 2002 :)
I slept most of today and just enjoyed being home.
Thursday, 5 December 2002 :)
Darroch was willing to send me home, provided I thought I was ready... heh... I was bathed and dressed and on the phone to Ian to, “Go, Go, Go”
There was a real blizzard happening but Ian came and collected me anyway... we drove home going forty and forty five.... What a great big beautiful scene I saw stretched out all in front of me.
Shawn had stayed home to have things ready there... (I thought that meant the driveway shoveled... but there was more).... When I arrived home there was a winter wonderland outside.... and one inside too. The guys had set up the Christmas tree, the mantle, the fire place... there was even music sweetly playing... whatta memory!
Wednesday, 4 December 2002 :)
Ian and the boys came up and Trever stayed over to take care of me... he did a really good job too... I walked twenty six times around.... yes.
My voice is still raspy and I choke when I drink water. They sent a specialist to see me and he told me that a vocal cord was disturbed or severed.... yeowwzer... he said it would either heal on it’s own or with a really simple operation he could take care of the problem. Seems they can go into the Adam’s apple and insert a small ceramic chip which will resolve the problem permanently... hmmm.... I’ll give it some time to see what happens first.
Tuesday, 3 December 2002 :)
Aunt Pam came to see me and to stay over... that was great.... Phil came by too and we had the greatest talk... I really enjoyed his company and I feel a lot closer to him than I have in many years.
Monday, 2 December 2002 :)
I walked eighteen times around the station.... Ian stayed by me.
Sunday, 1 December 2002 :)
TREVER AND SHAWN’S EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY.... wow.... they decided to postpone a party until I was home. Instead they came up to see me.
Dave Gillman came in and removed the other chest tube, the NG tube, two Jackson Pratt drains and the epideral.... thirty eight staples from my trunk and seventeen from my neck.... Big day!
Shawn stayed overnight with me tonight.