Saturday, 31 August 2002 :)
Today was delightful.... rained in the morning but clear by the afternoon. Didn’t stop me from looking out onto the harbor though.... taking in the sights.... the sounds... the healing. Every night we slept with the balcony door open and the ocean breeze.... paradise to be there with Ian.
Later we all headed to P-Town. What great fun... shopping... looking we had dinner at the Lobster Pot, their pan roasted lobster is a must, we toasted Cathy and then went out for more adventuring..
Mom and Aunt Pam and Aunt Rusty went off to Fox wood for an evening of fun.
Friday, 30 August 2002 :(
At ten O’clock Anita, (Cathy’s other sister) called me to tell me that the test results were really bad and that the doctors are giving her two hours to twelve days to live.... bizarre... I told Anita that the doctors are welcome to their opinion but that Cathy has to decide what her truth is gonna be. It’s so hard. Anita said that ever since the diagnosis a little over a month ago, she’s been staying with Anne Marie’s house with Meagan, who is not accepting any of this.... everyone is upset... but Meagan is gonna be so lost without her.
It started to rain here.... and at eleven thirty Anne Marie called to tell me that my friend Cathy died.
I couldn’t help be reflective.... I’d known Cathy since I was sixteen.... when I was nineteen I wanted to go to California, but I didn’t wanna go alone - she flew with me.... When I wanted to go to Nantucket, (but was afraid of boats) she went along for the ride... she was a great person to be with ‘cause you assured of two things - the hard truth, ‘cause she didn’t give a shit if you liked what she had to say - and a good laugh.... her humor was dark and deep.... simply put she was a pisser. Little things I can’t forget... the time she insisted that we go to the dinner at midnight and she wore a nightgown and pumps.... walked in exclaiming how much she adored her new Halston..... that was Cathy
At one point it really hit me hard and I started crying. At the same instant the phone rang... it was Mom... she just got a message from Cathy who insisted she, “Call Gino and tell him I’m all right!”..... wow
Thursday, 29 August 2002 :)
I got a call from Anne Marie, Cathy Nolan’s sister... Cathy was brought to the hospital in Lakeland. Seems she was in a lotta pain and they want to run tests. I called the hospital and talked with her she sounded sorta weak, poor thing.... they have her on morphine.... YAY!
Wednesday, 28 August 2002 :)
Ahhhh..... Hyannis.... I sat on the balcony and just watched the boats move in and out of the harbor. The view from where we stay is so picturesque that we keep coming back to the same place... Ken and Denise know us now and it’s just a very wonderful way to pass the time.
The boys are being terrific... they take off and explore and come back and share their adventures.
Ian is relaxing too... staying up late.... sleeping until noon..... that’s the fun of it.
Tuesday, 27 August 2002 :)
For the next week or so I won’t be updating the site but will try and leave you with these spy cams... you’ll see the views we see.... might even be able to see us..... check out the East view.... and the West view ..... I’ll keep notes and record it all later... promise.
Monday, 26 August 2002 :)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Tom Hoffay!!!
Mom wanted to spend time with me so we decided we’d leave for the Hyannis House tomorrow. She came over wearing her fetching green and black Anthony Sicari. She was wonderful and she and I had fun together.... when I needed a nap she cuddled me and I’m here to tell you... getting cuddled and sung to as of old is a decadent treat that one cant’ indulge in often.... but suddenly I knew everything was gonna be all right.
I’m the luckiest guy I know.... I really am.... I’m surrounded by the dare say and most loving family, great friends, three sons and my very own Buddy so I won’t have to go it alone.... how cool is that!
Sunday, 25 August 2002 :)
Today marked the day that my Dad passed away.... in my arms..... eighteen years ago today...... feels like now. I really understood more of the nuances of what he was going through then ever before and it made me cry and I talked it out with Ian as he held me.... funny how you can remember stuff from years ago and bring it up later like new.... yet good luck remembering where I left my keys.... hrmn.
We rented a couple of silly movies and we spent the day quietly. For some strange reason I craved watermelon. I must have eaten half to three quarters and was happy to do it..... until later.... much later. Guess too much has a very.... huh..... laxative like effect on person.... good to know.... wish I had known before I had taken that sleeping pill.... I’m wiser now.
Saturday, 24 August 2002 :)
Okay.... the plans I made got all messed up.... happens. But I feel better. I slept until noon but felt good enough go out with Ian and Eyoko and explore the village.... hmmmm. Later I even some home repairs.... crazy. The Marinol is working hard and I find myself eating almost non stop.... that’s a good thing. Food is tasting more normal.... which can be good or bad depending on who’s cooking...heh.
We’re going to Cape Cod for the end of the summer.... We’ll leave Monday or Tuesday... .the guys are excited but I wish Kris and Mel could come too.... maybe they’ll decide to pop up later.
Friday, 23 August 2002 :)
I had to take Trever to get his foot w-rayed to make sure he hadn’t broken it during Football Practices.... It’ll be cool to go to his games.... and in interesting to see two gay men cheering on their kid..... getting dressed to go is gonna be funny as hell!
I got a lot more walking in today. Eyoko Robinson came up from New York to see us and visit..... she’s really excited that Ian got Sara Jessica Parker to wear some of her beautiful red leather strand Jewelry in Sex And The City airing on September 19th..... it’s so nice to see her... such a bright light..... she’ll head back to the city tomorrow..
Thursday, 22 August 2002 :)
When I woke up......I REALLY WOKE UP! I had had the strangest dream. It seemed like the whole night was spent in a classroom setting.... I was being taught all the components that go into beating this cancer.... the subtleties..... and I got the message.... Don’t get tricked by getting overconfident or lazy...STAY STRONG AND FOCUSED.... THIS IS WAR!
Ian went off to New York for a long full day and Mom came over. We had a really good day together.... after she left Ian’s Mom came over and brought some Scottish Mince... mmmmm..... Dee came by too.... she surprised me with a funny cartoon, flowers and a card to go with it!!!..... that was really sweet!
Wednesday, 21 August 2002 :\
A little better today.... That’s good. I went to see the Glenn and gave me a shot of Procrit. He sees the havoc but is steadying me in the boat, as it were. I headed home to sleep.
Tomorrow my Mom is gonna come over and take care of me.... there’s nothing like Mom’s..... I can’t wait.
Tuesday, 20 August 2002 :/
I started an anti-depressant today.... I’ll be rehearsing Broadway show tunes by days end.
I’m sorry about not answering all the emails, But this regime has really been kicking my ass.
Monday, 19 August 2002 :/
I need an anti depressant I think.......... It’s like I find more about me each day.... sorta’ an ‘health-o-logical’ dig... in search of me.
Sunday, 18 August 2002 :/
Happy Anniversary Ian My Ian............Eight years four months
Saturday, 17 August 2002 :/
I slept most of the day.... my throat was sore from shedding old skin. Far too sensitive for food stuffs..... just part of it. Although I notice more and more I’m sad.... not really like me.
Today Kristen and Michael were married I wish them every happiness, I couldn’t attend.
Friday, 16 August 2002 :/
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Olivia and Mary Grace!!
Today is a bit of rough on for me. The chemo comes off but side effects are pronounced and I’ll just a puddle of sores and odd complainants.... not too pretty I’m afraid.
Thursday, 15 August 2002 :/
Tara Shannon and Marco popped over for a fast stop before heading back to New York and then off to Holland....... they are so good together, it’s a blessing to be in their company.
Please keep Jilly in your prayers, she sound wonderful.... let’s keep her that way!
Wednesday, 14 August 2002 :/
I woke, I slept, I drank ensure and vomited ..... what a full day!
Tuesday, 13 August 2002 :/
Jilly, My Jilly went into the hospital to have her tummy adjusted and I’m so proud of her proactive approach to her wellness. She’s such a wonderful person that anything that helps to promote her life is a blessing to the whole planet.
Monday, 12 August 2002 :/
Today was a bit nerve racking for some reason..... just knowing that the chemo is starting up again is a good and yucky thing.... sooner started sooner done! We went to the Dyson in fusion center..... much nicer that the doctors office. TV’s are all around and the place is well designed and clean..... they even served a real lunch.... took seven hours to get in fused thought.... too long.... *phew* ... then we came home and the home nurse was here to hook up the 5-FU, I vomited a lot.... no big deal. This wee is gonna be a blur anyway.
Sunday, 11 August 2002 :)
Today’s a day for birthday celebrations.... my niece, Frankie is fourteen.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY Frankie!! ... and our friend Eleanor Lambert is ninety nine..... Wowzer!
I talked with Tara Shannon today.... Marco is in the U.S. and they are touring the country.... very cool. They are heading back to Holland on Friday... *sadness* .... and I can’t get over how fast the time can fly.... We’re planning to get together Thursday or Friday.... gotta see them before they fly away.
Ian’s Mom came over for dinner which was nice and afterward we went out for desert. I had ice cream.... which surprisingly didn’t have any repercussions... really weird ‘cause in the old days I wouldn’t have gotten to the car without cramps. I’ve been ‘testing’ myself all months for notable changes.... just thought I’d share... heh.
Tomorrow I start another round of chemo... I think I have three rounds left - including tomorrow’s.... not so bad, huh? Part of me is nervous and part of me is glad.
Please say prayers for my Aunt Rusty.... she’s in a lotta pain again, (I hate it)... seems unfair especially when you think there are some folks out there who love the stuff.... tie themselves up and get whipped for fun.... hmmm..... somethings I just don’t get - that’s one of them.
Saturday, 10 August 2002 :)
Sourabh came over to talk with me and explain himself... I felt like I owed him that much since we had been so close. His apology was very sincere and I realised that he was going through his own little hell. It was good to talk with him and to clear the air. I still intend to initiate a lawsuit if some matters were not addressed pronto.
Later Ian and I went to a party that Mary Kavaney was having at her home. It was wonderful and we enjoyed the chance to spend time with such a wonderful group of guests in a relaxed setting. Tom Hoffay was there and we met some really interesting people and a nice couple, Michelle and Jereon (ya-roon), who we made plans to get together with again at our home. It was so much fun that we stayed four hours.... very cool.
Friday, 9 August 2002 :)
The plans to get together with Michele got messed up... it happens. I worked on other stuff instead.
Thursday, 8 August 2002 :)
Today I did something very wrong.... I had sent away for a gift for Ian’s cousin’s wedding.... when it arrived I made the mistake of assembling it.... so beautiful.... so perfect.... like Bilbo Baggins in The Lord Of The Rings, I fell in love with it. Ended up ordering another one for her.... I’m so ashamed... hehe.
Spent the day with Michele working on the Foundations stuff.... what a mountain of stuff it needs to have done... Wowzer.... We went out for sushi and made plans to get together tomorrow too.
Wednesday, 7 August 2002 :)
Last night I went to bed too late to take a sleep aid... I couldn’t find a comfortable position for love nor money..... ended up tossing and turning until about one in the morning.... great.... at five thirty when the damn alarm went off it was another story... every position was perfectly dreamy... I could’ve had my foot behind my neck and my head up my ass and it would have been just fine.... sheeze.
Michele and I were going to take a trip to Long Island, but decided against it. We made a plan to get together tomorrow.... that’s cool. Sourabh called me and wants to see me Saturday - I agreed.... Can’t imagine what he’ll say ‘cause he’s got ‘some splain’in to do’.... but we’ll see.
Ian was asked to do the Bill Blass Fashion Show again this season... I know it’s gonna be sad for him since it’ll be the first time that he’s doing the show and Bill won’t be there.
Tuesday, 6 August 2002 :)
Tired today... we watched the rest of, ‘Lord Of The Rings’... really well done. Pat came by later to visit and that was cool.
We went to Kingston to get our tickets for the Mayor of Kingston’s boat ride Thursday evening.... those who know me are betting I won’t go on the boat.... probably right, but we’ll see.
Monday, 5 August 2002 :)
Aunt Toni-Ann stopped over today with little Nuah... we had lunch together and watched as little Nuah had a field day with Little Buddy the basset hound... it was really very funny the way he was drawn to and repulsed at regular intervals.
The meeting with Michele was rescheduled to Tuesday, which works out swell and I forgot to get my blood-work done... hrmn.
Later we watched half of, ‘Lord Of The Rings’... Excellent!
Sunday, 4 August 2002 :\
I had a very rough night last night up almost ever hour.... on the hour.... in the bathroom. I swear I couldn’t have consumed THAT much food... After the fifth go round I thought mayby I was ‘channeling’ for someone else... heh.
I have discovered some new found power - I bought a hot-glue gun! I’m drunk with power... fixing everything... even got the dog to sit.... *Muahahahaha*..... I own a hot glue-gun... the world can all be mine
I got the chance to talk with Marv today... such a cool guy. We caught up on stuff... wish I could get together with him and Carol soon. Later Ian and I went to Tom Hoffay’s home hang out.... got to meet Michael who is wonderful.... and just had a really great time.
Saturday, 3 August 2002 :(
I called and left a very ‘to-the-point’ message on Sourabh’s message machine... I’m seeing a lawyer Monday after my blood work is done.... I’ll be able to elaborate after I meet with the attorney.
It was really hot today.... *phew*.... I was feeling really tired on and off all day so I only walked one mile. Ian’s Mom came over for dinner and regaled us with more stories of the trip to Scotland that she just returned from.... that was a wonderful way to pass the evening.
Friday, 2 August 2002 :(
Trever was testing all the buttons I owned today too.
Ian and I went to Starbucks..... the cute counter guy said Ian smelled SO good that he came around and smelled him on the spot!!!! I liked the new apparent customer appreciation move on the part of the coffee company and breathlessly awaited my turn... it never happened - I ordered a ‘small’.... hrmn.
Thursday, 1 August 2002 :)
Ian went into New York Today... I had wanted to go with him but realised that I wasn’t able to the demands the day would place. he had to go, wanted to go... I bucked up and got things done here.
Mom and Aunt Pam came over... we went out for some sushi... it was good to hang out in their company. Mom has some great news.... seems she caught the eye of a fellow by the name of Darrell..... They’ve been on the phone for hours..... hmmmm.... it’s wonderful.