30 April February 2001 :)
I had another slow start to the day but a very strong finish.... I’m becoming more accepting of the lethargy... so long as it really is just for the time being and will improve with time.
Had a delightful visit from Ian’s Mom and Doreen Hoops, a friend since Ian was just a kid.... she has this endearing English accent that when mixed with his Mom’s Scottish accent just makes everything - even the mundane stuff seem cool.... course the best part is that neither one thinks that they have one.
At bedtime Ian discovered a tick on Trever’s neck and we had to get it off him... it was kinda big... and he was freaking out a little, but it skeeved out Shawn.... he went nuts..... preceded to go over everything with a fine tooth comb. I was the cool collected voice of calm... What did they expect when they play in the woods all day... (that’s where their fort is)... I reminded them that it was, after all, just a tiny bug... relax.... humph - boys! Later I got ready for bed too and as I prepared for my bedtime shower I saw it.... on my arm.... A GIGANTIC TICK I’m talkin’ HUGE (King Kong with my arm as the Empire State Building - I coulda lured him off me with a raw steak... ok... maybe not that big.... but almost.... I was dumb stuck.... frozen on the spot.... I yelled for Ian who ran into the bathroom in a panic... “Look - look - look” was all I could say... he was just as surprised as I was. “Ohmigod”, I said, getting hyper, “get a match or something” .... and he did.... next thing I see is Ian coming toward me with a burning torch, “ARE YOU NUTS? Blow that damn thing out!”.... and the moments that followed were straight from a Laurel and Hardy short as two grown men go toe to toe with a tiny tick.... Yeah, I got burned... Ian almost took the medicine cabinet door in the face.... and I finally just took a tweezers and (1-2-3) with eyes closed, pulled the damn thing off..... miscalculating the energy required and smashed my hand against the sink.... now I have ice on three fingers.... but what really hurts is my pride... heh.... I’m just glad that the boys were asleep or they could have hurt themselves laughing.
The best part is, of course, that now I feel stuff moving all over my entire body.... ugh.
29 April February 2001 :)
Brother was the sun bright this morning.... Ian and I woke up late.... got dressed and walked into the village for our coffee.... very romantic really. The coffee shop that we went into wasn’t the usual ‘Bigbucks’ one but a small one that’s privately owned. It used to be the old ‘Cloud House’ a famous.... or infamous haunt in the sixties, seventies, and eighties.... it was painted blue, with clouds and a portrait of a fellow done in the style of Peter Max. It was a center piece, an architectural tribute to defiance... the old townies hated it.... it was a constant reminder that they had forfeit their control... willingly, no less.... thanks to Dr. Spock and that crowd. But there on the wall of this now coffee shop hangs a photo of another time... The Cloud House with it’s flock on the front stoop.... and my brother Phil is smack in the center.... heh.... very cool.
Aunt Toni-Ann popped over and that was great we visited until Ian and I went to his Mom’s for tea time... she is enjoying the company of two dear friends for the weekend and they invited us over for a short visit.
Later, the guys got together for our traditional Queer As Folk party... Steve was there with Ron, Ian and me... it was great fun... Ron has his own four seater plane and was suggesting lunch at Province Town.... sounds like fun... I wanna get my pilots license too... Ricky and I could do a plane together and that would make tipping around that much easier.... and great fun... hmmmm .... I bet I do it... I really want to.
28 April February 2001 :)
It was a really great day... the best in recent memory....’course ‘recent memory’ doesn’t mean much these days....
I started the day by paying a visit to my childhood friend Bob Clydesdale and his beautiful wife Kathy. We spent hours going over computer stuff, (they both happen to be wizards on these things) and we added some things to my web-site and reviewed some of the amazing things that Bob is doing on his: PatientsAmerica.Com. That site is really so cool. He showed me how folks who might not be in a position to pay for some of the high priced drugs that you need when you’re going through cancer - you can get for free... all there in his web-site..... very cool huh? I’m tellin’ ya... you really should do yourself a favor and check it out.
I came home and took a nap.... OK... but then later..... way later..... Ian and I went out clubbing with a whole bunch of friends and stayed out until 4:00 in the morning........ (I impressed myself). It felt great to just have some mindless fun.
27 April February 2001 :)
I never made it to New York..... another wiped out day. Got the results in from this weeks blood tests - very low.... ah.... mystery solved. Now I gotta find out if I’m a candidate for Procrit - the stuff that’s designed to boost red blood cells.... gives ya energy we’re talking ‘High Test’.
Ian’s Mom came by and visited a while... and later on we had Joe over for dinner, a young film maker who has become a friend.
Please say a prayer for my friend Bob C. ... he’s having a rough time with seizures and the prayers will do him good.
26 April February 2001 :)
Ian rented a really good movie calledAlmost Famous it’s definitely worth seeing.... we had lunch together too... at The Bistro in the village... he can be great fun..... besides - it’s important to spend some quality time together.
Later that day when no one was home Buddy, (the Basset hound) saw his big chance and went over the wall. As best as we can figure it had to be an inside job... (I just pictured him standing below the door handle while one cat stood on his back with the second cat standing on the first cats back... ya know... like The Flying Wolendas.... utilizing some special home made device that he secretly worked on when WE thought he was napping - they most likely open the door. Now, the cats stayed.... probably waving a paw at the receding Basset singing a chorus of ‘Born Free’ only to later laugh at how foolish he was for leaving... while bingeing on the left over kibble.
The real problem is that he has a nasty habit of running towards an oncoming car.... *Ouch*.... When I pull into the driveway he runs to attack my car but the run isn’t long enough so it snaps him back... every time.... yup... if he did get hit it sure wouldn’t be brains all over the road... that’s a given.
He didn’t get far though.... in fact he only got to the corner before Shawn Doyle (the guy who tutors the twins) spotted our Little Buddy and brought him home.
If you wanna see a picture of a little dog that’s way smart... (and adorable too.... then you gotta see.... Colleen and Bob’s ’Kate’ ... Isn’t she a beauty? Guess she likes the Discovery Channel too.... hehe.
25 April February 2001 :)
It was a slow to start day... but it did get off the ground. I spoke to a couple of caring women who called me to ask all sorts of questions about the esophageal cancer and the treatment... seems that someone very close to them is going through the same thing. His name is James S., he’s 74 and the decision to live is his.... That’s why he need our prayers.
There’s someone else that needs prayers said.... her name is Shelby Isabel Jones... she’s in a hospital after having a beautiful baby.... now the baby’s home and Shelby’s in the hospital.... what’s wrong with this picture.
Today was a good day.... not exciting... but I just know that stuff will work out the right way..... sometimes that’s enough.
24 April February 2001 :)
I was feeling very frustrated that my recovery seemed to be taking it’s sweet time.... and Aunt Pam pointed out that the problem could just be my perception and she suggested that I change it.... she is so right. Slow IS better than stop.
Ian and I walked three miles today and that’s fine... I’ll do more tomorrow. And as I can do stuff I will and I’ll just be more understanding with me if I miss the mark I set.... hmph.
23 April February 2001 :/
All day I kept thinking it was the 24th... I have no idea.... it was hot and I was rather cranky all day. Probably ‘cause I needed naps and plain out refused to take any... To hell with it! (Boy do I feel like have an old-fashioned temper tantrum)... I’m wiped out and miserable.
The twins decided that we were sleeping too long... after all it was 6:00 AM... so they tag teamed waking us up every seven minutes..... “I don’t know where that shirt is”.... “Not this morning - take the bus”..... “No, you didn’t wake me, I was just pretending to sleep.”.... For what ever reason every thing from checks for lunch, parental signatures for school functions, a pass to get out of Gym ALL had to happen this morning....... Ugh!..... They didn’t stay after school as planned for one lame reason or another... then Trever wanted to leave the tutoring class early to go walk a dog.... just a crazy bang your head against the wall day... (more Prozac on table six please)... but it’s over now... and I got through it without opening up a vein........ and that’s always encouraging.
22 April February 2001 :)
Sumiko was leaving to head back home today, but before she left she showed us how to make bread.... we really did it.... from scratch... and it was amazing too.
Slow day... got together with Steve later on and we did the Sundy night thing.
21 April February 2001 :)
Ian and I are needing some quality time to put our heads back on straight.... *cough*... (as if)... I think a comedy club would be a good idea... or maybe a Rocky Horror night.
Got a nice photo from Jack Ruckdeschel... I’m going to paint his portrait - My Jilly will be thrilled.... I’m excited too, just gotta get the studio in shape... or...uh... clean the garage - same thing.
Our gardens needed watering as did our lawn so Ian and I did the Great American Male Rain Dance.... we washed and waxed the cars.... it worked.
20 April February 2001 :)
One year ago today I was lying in an operating room totally sedated while a team removed twelve centimeters of my esophagus and for the next eight days I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything.... tonight I’m entertaining friends... cool.
For starters the boys stayed overnight at Travis’s house so we are on our own.... always a great recipe for getting into trouble... hehe... Mom and Aunt Joann stopped over to just to give us Lottery tickets and a wish that they win.... or at least one of them.... and Edith called from California to tell me that she heard my voice on her car radio.... I’ve been told by friends that the commercial has aired in Kansas, New York, Colorado, Georgia, Florida and California too.... what a blast.... That’s fine ‘cause PatientsAmerica.Com ... he’s having a huge launch next week and that’s always exciting. He’s seen my site and next week we’re planning on getting together to work on improving it... he’s so amazing at this stuff... we’ll see what happens.
I want to share a picture of my Dad ..... his name was Pilligree.... his friends would call him Phil or Pill. His Mother died so he lived in an orphanage until he was nine... in this photo he was only about 16 or 17. My older brother sent it to me and I just couldn’t stop staring at it. It’s totally weird to look at a picture of your Dad when you have sons that are the same age as him... .’least it is for me.
18 April February 2001 :)
Seven Years ago today... Ian and I met.... and four years ago today we were married in a private ceremony.... What an amazing adventure life with Ian has been so far...... but, boy does time fly!
Something really wonderful happened today that I wanna tell about. I was between appointments and I stopped into Burlingame’s in Poughkeepsie... a little antique shop where I got my desk, I hadn’t been there in over a year and thought I’d get an anniversary gift for Ian.... anyway... when I walked in, Rich, the proprietor, look at me in like he’d seen a ghost. “Gino?”, he asked .... I smiled, nodded my head and told him I was free of the cancer.... his eyes welled up and he reached over and pulled out a piece of paper from under stuff and pointed. There, written on this worn prayer list was, “Gino - cancer-free”... at this point he cried and praised Jesus. He told me that he wondered what had happened to me and asked if he should take my name off the prayer list... he was instructed to leave it on and was told that I was cancer-free... he wrote that down... he told me that he promised God to please make it so and that he’d witness to me if he saw me... and he did.... it was a special moment really.... to realize that people all over are praying for you... what an unselfish and generous thing.
Rich is his name and he needs some healing too... Please say prayers for him and Georgia..... ‘cause they can surely use them.
17 April February 2001 :)
I went to the High School today to meet with each of the boys teachers in order to see where they stood and see what else was needed (short of a Papal Requiem) for them to pass this year. I was so surprised at the reception that Jim and I got.... each one of the teachers really liked the boys and enjoyed having them in their classes. I was a bit surprised... tempted to hold up photographs of the guys... just to make sure we were talking about my Trever and Shawn... hehe... What a difference from last year. Each one of them offered to stay after school and I arranged a schedule for them on the spot.... coordinated around the private tutor that comes over after school... .great... now all I have to do is get Trever and Shawn excited about it!
It did take some negotiating but the guys are on board... I had to offer an extended curfew, reduce the chores, throw in some cash and give my blessing so that they can get their drivers permit at the conclusion of the seven week stretch..... and.... if they pass.... and they could... Ian and I will help them to get their wheels on the road. I’m really proud of my son’s for changing their whole world around... and that wasn’t easy either!
Joanna called... there was no way for her to get away this time and we are just not prepared to go to Miami so our dinner has to be together only in spirit.... which sucks.... It will be seven years tomorrow that Ian and I met and fell in love... and although we’ve had our ups and downs... I’m still crazy about him.
Speaking of Florida... my cousins Linda and Gary sent some very cool photos that you gotta see. First there’s an amazing picture of the boat... his name is J.B. Magruder... but they just call him ‘Magruder’.... here’s what he looks like when he’s out of the water from the Bow and from the Stern (if I have the terms right).... cool huh? Gary is a treasure hunter.... he and Linda work for Motivation, Inc.. To be living around the water like these two do.... it’s the life.... Someday real soon I wanna live on the water too...... I just gotta. Here’s a picture of Linda and a friend (no, that’s not Gary)... I have to get one of him.... and there’s even a picture of their cat ’Felina’ and Linda.... hmm.... I’d have thought they’d have like... a pet fish..... right?.... bet the cat thinks it’s a good idea too!
16 April February 2001 :)
Had a nice trip into the city... got a 95% on the continuing education test.... and got to see some old friends too. Best part was that Ian went into New York by bus to meet with clients but rode the train home with me... just like the old days.... when we’d come up to the country on the weekends together.
The boys meanwhile were on their own. After school they’re tutored for two hours... so they have a better chance of passing. But when Shawn showed up they didn’t hear him...... knocking at the front door and the back door, ringing the bell - repeatedly and the dog (who goes crazy barking if he even THINKS somebody’s there... and STILL they didn’t hear him.... hmmm.... guess I should make an appointment to have their hearing checked... or better still - their heads examined... if they think for a minute I’m buying that story.... heh.
15 April February 2001 :/
I woke up much later than I originally expected... hopped in the shower and then put the ham into the oven.... never did that before... But I took Mary and my mothers advice and it was cooking in no time. The only people who were going to be at dinner was me and Ian, his Mom and mine.... with all that had happened last night I thought it best to sit out in the front with my coffee.... and hope for a ‘drive-by’...... heh.
But everything turned out fine.... the food was really good, and Mom came after all. It was strained a little, but I know that time will fix this, ‘cause we do care for each other.... just get messed up now and then.
Later we went over to Steve’s house to watch Queer As Folk.... He has a cat named Simon who is a stunning mix of Siamese and .... something - I just can’t recall right now, but he’s absolutely beautiful. Ian and I had a fun time... Steve’s a nice guy and next week it’s at our house.
14 April February 2001 :(
I got a call from my friend Ellen... she told me of a 34 year old guy named Danny S. who has been fighting Leukemia. She’s really concerned ‘cause he’s giving up and badly needs the mental strength to win... she asked me to include him in the prayer list... (I did)... now I’m asking everybody who’s reading this to please say a prayer that Danny decides to live.
Ian’s family is very smart... they celebrate everyone’s birthday that falls in that month on one day all together.... very cool... everyone is remembered and we all get together and party... Damn clever.... Pat outdid herself, as usual.... one of those gals who makes Martha Stewart look like an amateur. We all sang Happy Birthday to Teeny, Ian and Michael and a great time was had by everyone... that’s just how it is when you’re with that crew... they really are more special to me than they really know.... and it’s been that way from the first time I met them.
Easter is Tomorrow and Ian and I planned a simple dinner and invited our Mothers. I invited my Mom to come and stay overnight. She was waiting at our house when we got home. It didn’t turn out to be the warm and fuzzy evening I had hoped for..... the moment I walked into my home I could smell the stench. For what ever reason she decided that it would OK if she smoked in the house (even though she knew I barely tolerate it in the basement) I think she just figured I’d ‘get over it’.... after all.... she’s the Mother..... yeah.... what precious little I had of my mind I gave willingly to her....
So, now, we’re both angry, the boys are upset, and nobody’s talking...... Three hours go by, it’s 1:30 in the morning, three hours without any communicating..... she’s upstairs watching TV and I’m downstairs.... trying to figure out how to address the whole thing, She is such a contradiction.... an exotic mixture of generous and selfish.... self-centered and selfless.... loving and thoughtless.... that unique blend that’s only reserved for the truly gifted and adored..... and I do adore her... well, maybe not right this minute.
Oh well, I finally relented and I’m climbing the stairs..... gonna make peace... after all.... it is Easter.... this is silly.... and.... There she was, watching TV with Trever.... and they’re both smoking cigarettes.... I think my head turned into a giant lollipop - just like on the cartoons.... then into a donkey’s head......Either way you can stick a fork in me - I’m done..... that’s when I collected her things and took her home.
13 April February 2001 :)
Ian and I went out to the movies... saw Bridget Jones Diary ‘cause Ian really really wanted to see it. I was afraid it was gonna be one of those really slow moving ‘chick-flicks’, but it was terrific, ‘course on the other hand... am I in any position to discern a chick-flick from a dick-flick? Oh well.... we had a blast.
I spoke at length to a man at the IRS, he was very helpful and told me what I needed to do, step by step.... OK .... I’ll begin the process Monday. Today is ‘Good Friday’.... That’s odd.... I don’t remember the letters over the cross spelling T.G.I.F..... what were they thinking! Today was the day they hammered nails into the hands and feet of a kind, gentle and loving man.... It’s Fucked-Up-Friday as far as I’m concerned! (No wonder the Jews think we’re wacked)... and PLEASE, don’t bother to email me to say I’m going to hell.... I live with TWO TEENAGE BOYS remember?... to me, Hell would be a break!
12 April February 2001 :/
I was exhausted most of the day... not surprised really.... I expect that tomorrow will be much better ‘cause I’m taking care of myself today.
The plumbers came over to finish hooking up stuff in the condo..... and Mom came over for a visit and made dinner.... Mmm-mm-mm... can she cook.
11 April February 2001 :o
Spent all day trying to balance American Express Statements from last April.... I mean since 1:00 PM until 1:30 AM... I am so wiped out. Things ran a muck when I was in the thick of it... but hey, the cancer’s gone, my hair’s coming back - so is my memory.... in fact - I was even able to remember that I forgot all about doing my taxes last year..... *gulp*..... Ohmigod.... sure would suck to beat cancer - survive the kids - all so that I could experiance life in ‘The Big House’.... *sigh* .... this can’t be a good thing...... not to mention what horizontal stripes can do to ya.
10 April February 2001 :)
I met with Jim concerning the boys.... we’re both so impressed with how far they’ve come in such a relatively short time... and both afraid to say it out loud... Nuff said.
Tara and Marco came all the way up to have dinner with us... they couldn’t stay the night... just dinner. It was so great to see them both... (Tara is so happy).... it’s great to see her so in love. They’re heading back to Europe at the end of the week.
Tara’s sister Colleen, (who’s a sweetheart) emailed me the other day to
tell me that she and Kate heard the commercial I made for Joint-Ritis on the radio... she
lives in Kansas.... hmmmm.... might have to start wearing sunglasses to the
mall soon..... ya think?
9 April February 2001 :)
I made a lot of business appointments .... trying to work up to the twelve hour Mondays that Monday used to be... I ran out of steam at several points though. Ian kept pace with me he was on the phone calling for his business too... it’s so cool to hang out with him... that’s the part that I really like.
The boys were off today and it wasn’t so bad.... they were really very good... did chores... got together with friends and went off to their fort.... they bounced back and forth, bringing the mud with them... which was fine. I hope that when they are grown men that they’ll remember how fun it really was to be a kid... and that the ‘drug’ part they went through will just be a small part of their childhood, just the learning lesson that I hope it was only meant to be.... The way I figure it God must have some interesting plans for them when they’re grown... ‘cause they sure have gone through enough to get there.
8 April February 2001 :/
OK... I understand that the rain can make ya sleepy... (and all it did was rain)... but brother... what a ‘do nothing - go nowhere’ day. One bright spot was that Kris and Mel came over and we all had brunch together... Other than walking one mile I hardly moved at all - and when I did it was to RUN to the bathroom.
Trever and Shawn told me that they have no school next week... Spring Break.... heh ... for whom?
Oh well, it’s Sunday and Queer As Folk is gonna be on tonight... so if I do collapse... I hope it’s in front of the TV.
7 April February 2001 :)
Ian and I went all over the place trying to find a particular plant holder that we liked... that Kimo had knocked over and destroyed... no luck... but we did find some terra cotta pots that are striking. Three feet high... simple, slender Japanese design that were crudely ‘washed’ in a pale Verde green.... like oxidized copper... they look striking on the front lawn.
We made a new friend today... Steve... we invited him over and had some coffee and cookies with us. He works for the Post office here in town, so we did our best not to piss him off... hehe... kidding... he’s a nice guy really.
6 April February 2001 :)
Alain returned from Paris with the good news that his brother Gee is in stable condition.... Thank God.
What a rainy day.... got a lot of stuff done... nothing exciting... but all important. Had coffee with Dewee... that was cool... saw Mariann too. She came and fetched the boys to stay overnight with her and Robbie. Got to see Kris and Melanie too... they came over for the weekend.
Happy Birthday, Jilly my Jilly..... It’s her birthday.... Ricky just called to tell me... no notice... just ‘hit-and-run’.... geeze... well, I totally have no memory.... It’s just a good thing that she knows I adore her.... gotta figure out something that’s special.... heh.... next time I guess I should just write the date down.
5 April February 2001 :)
Boy oh boy was I wiped out this morning.... all from doing yesterday what used to be nothing.... *sigh*.... Oh well, I’m so happy to be alive and healthy that the rest of it means nothing.... it will get better and better.
I spoke with a charming woman by the name of Gladys... she’s in her seventies, but her spirit is ageless, I hope I get to speak with her again. She lives in Florida and I told her about the Moffitt.... I think she’s gonna reach out to them - She’s in the process of kicking lung cancer and there isn’t a doubt in my mind that she will too!! What a fantastic spirit... strong, positive, committed... and gentle at the same time. I was so inspired by her... and somehow she was by me too. Funny... I’ve come to meet some pretty special people thankx to cancer.... see..... it’s not all bad.
Gladys can use lots of prayers so please hold her in yours.
Even though I was exhausted I went to Poughkeepsie for two appointments..... I figured, “Damn the torpedoes.....”
4 April February 2001 :)
Today was city day.... after a delayed start I was able to get myself under control and the rest of the day was fine. The weather in New York was terrific... sunny and cool... just perfect. I spoke with Tara and she’s working so hard on a shoot, here in the city, that she and Marco are only going to be able to come up next week for the day... drats.
I got to see Sourabh.... It’s been a while.... talked with John and just continued the process of getting back to playing... which is really what my ‘work’ is.... I love it....but patience has never been my strongest suit.
Ian, Trever, Shawn and I all had a good time watching a crazy Canadian tape of goofy practical jokes. We had ordered it off the TV some time ago.... it was so much fun to all of us sit around and laugh.
3 April February 2001 :)
What a day... I met a wonderful couple who have a cat that looks just like my Kimo ... only it’s named Scruffy... which was the name I gave to the dog that I loved so much.... hmmm... just thought it was kinda funny.
I’m trying to get myself back on track so I’m doing a trial run..... setting appointments.... and doing OK... sorta.... just tired.
Aunt Rusty is in Tampa... she’ll be heading to Key West to visit Linda and Gary... I wanna go and see them too, but that won’t be for a little bit of a while anyway.
2 April February 2001 :)
Today I went almost the entire day without needing a nap... *Applause*... that is until about six o’clock... then - *clink* - just fell over to one side.... hehe... not really... but it does feel that way.
Tara called... we’re gonna plan a get together with her and Marco... yes! .... that’ll be super!
By the way.... please say a prayer for my friend Alain’s brother ‘Gee’.. he was in a really bad car accident in Paris and is in critical condition. Alain is so worried.... He left for France tonight to be by Gee’s side.
1 April February 2001 ;)
It was kinda cool to open the Fashion section of the New York Times today, (Sec 9, Pg. 4) and see Tara Shannon and Marco.... they’re supposed to come up and stay over. Have to wait and see if they can work it out this trip or if they have to dash back to Europe.
I went to see Mom. She’s still under the weather... I picked up a prescription for antibiotics for her and we shared some chicken soup... that should straighten her out. Talked with Dewee... gotta get together with her and see the latest ‘toons.... and get writing more on the book..... It’s such a treat to be getting busy again... with good stuff I mean.
Ian’s birthday and our seventh year anniversary are in this month.... *yikes*... I gotta think about what to get this wonderful guy. It’s been our tradition to have dinner on the 17th or 18th with Joanna Turk, our dear friend who also hosted our wedding party.... A couple of years ago she flew up from Miami to have dinner with us, this year we might meet her there... we’ll see.